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Aug. 16th, 2011 09:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prodigaljaybirdIt's strange to think that the first time Jason ever saw a photograph of Tim, it broke his heart.
He'd give anything to see him now, even if it's just a photo. All those pictures Tim got that day in the rec room, they're all of Bruce, of Dick. None of Tim. All those photos on the camera he carried around with him everywhere, Jason can't even develop them, but even if he did, he doubts Tim took any of himself.
He's eighteen today. Supposed to be older than his little brother, but Tim turned eighteen last month. Turned eighteen and disappeared before Jason was even done ribbing him about it.
He'd ask for a picture, he thinks, if Tim was still here to ask for a birthday present.
Instead he brings two pieces of the cake Bucky got him and sits them both on Tim's porch, sits himself there afterward. It's been a ritual for a while now, telling Tim about his day. No reason to stop that Jason can see, even if Tim's gone.
He tells him that it doesn't feel any different being eighteen instead of seventeen, that they both grew up a long time ago. He tells him that it doesn't hurt anymore that Lux isn't pregnant, because what kind of dad scares a mom so much she can't get her period? Tells him that he spent two days as a twelve year old, and hasn't been able to look a lot of people in the eye since. That he thinks he could laugh about it, if only Tim was still here to laugh with him.
That he hopes, if Tim ever returns, they learn not to hate each other again. That he loves him, and he wishes he'd said so properly when he had time.
Jason eats his piece of cake, and it's delicious. He doesn't think about eating the other.
He'd give anything to see him now, even if it's just a photo. All those pictures Tim got that day in the rec room, they're all of Bruce, of Dick. None of Tim. All those photos on the camera he carried around with him everywhere, Jason can't even develop them, but even if he did, he doubts Tim took any of himself.
He's eighteen today. Supposed to be older than his little brother, but Tim turned eighteen last month. Turned eighteen and disappeared before Jason was even done ribbing him about it.
He'd ask for a picture, he thinks, if Tim was still here to ask for a birthday present.
Instead he brings two pieces of the cake Bucky got him and sits them both on Tim's porch, sits himself there afterward. It's been a ritual for a while now, telling Tim about his day. No reason to stop that Jason can see, even if Tim's gone.
He tells him that it doesn't feel any different being eighteen instead of seventeen, that they both grew up a long time ago. He tells him that it doesn't hurt anymore that Lux isn't pregnant, because what kind of dad scares a mom so much she can't get her period? Tells him that he spent two days as a twelve year old, and hasn't been able to look a lot of people in the eye since. That he thinks he could laugh about it, if only Tim was still here to laugh with him.
That he hopes, if Tim ever returns, they learn not to hate each other again. That he loves him, and he wishes he'd said so properly when he had time.
Jason eats his piece of cake, and it's delicious. He doesn't think about eating the other.
