Jason keeps his good leg locked, all of his weight and most of hers distributed between it and the wall, and he lets her cry. He lets her rage, not disagreeing in words or even thoughts for the most part, even if he can't let her be a partner. Not yet, if ever, not like she wants, but then she doesn't know what she's asking for. Not completely.
"We're covered in evidence," he says when her threats become questions. "No hospital." His ribs hurt worse than ever after their flight, but he's used to it. This is what he does, and for all her anger Allison doesn't understand.
"I was trained by the League of Assassins," he says, wishing she knew his world, knew to be scared just for his association with that name, let alone membership. "By the All Caste. The worst of what I can do is necessary, but it's dirty, Allison. I don't want to ruin you. I know you think you know what that means, but you don't."
Grimacing with pain, he holds her back just far enough to look at her. "The things I do aren't good, and you are, even when you're tough or cruel. Jason isn't the whole me." He touches her cheek like he'd tried to before, half expecting to be struck, but he can't help himself. He loves her, and he hasn't let her know him. He'd tried to be like Bucky, tried to hold at arm's length the people that needed to stay there for their own good, but of course he's fucked it up. Allison's been part of him from that first look, and no mask was ever going to stop that.
"I just wanted to give you the good parts. When you see the rest, you might not love me anymore."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2014-09-19 10:34 pm (UTC)"We're covered in evidence," he says when her threats become questions. "No hospital." His ribs hurt worse than ever after their flight, but he's used to it. This is what he does, and for all her anger Allison doesn't understand.
"I was trained by the League of Assassins," he says, wishing she knew his world, knew to be scared just for his association with that name, let alone membership. "By the All Caste. The worst of what I can do is necessary, but it's dirty, Allison. I don't want to ruin you. I know you think you know what that means, but you don't."
Grimacing with pain, he holds her back just far enough to look at her. "The things I do aren't good, and you are, even when you're tough or cruel. Jason isn't the whole me." He touches her cheek like he'd tried to before, half expecting to be struck, but he can't help himself. He loves her, and he hasn't let her know him. He'd tried to be like Bucky, tried to hold at arm's length the people that needed to stay there for their own good, but of course he's fucked it up. Allison's been part of him from that first look, and no mask was ever going to stop that.
"I just wanted to give you the good parts. When you see the rest, you might not love me anymore."