Jason Todd (
prodigaljaybird) wrote2012-02-12 03:18 pm
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It's taken so long to find him that for the short moment Jason pauses to look, he doesn't trust his own eyes. There's sweat in his eyes, exacerbating an already present sting, perspiration running down his arms to fight Jason for his grip on the batline, but it doesn't falter, aim desperately sure and grip too tight to let him fall, but now.
But now he's found him, Bruce's back to him in the jungle as he gathers wood for purposes Jason's wired too tight to understand. In all the hours he's spent searching, Jason hasn't figured out a damn thing to say, crawling out of his skin ever since he left Cass's side, the depth of it, the weight of it too much to untangle and put into anything like words.
He could die here. In the shape he's in, Jason doesn't have a prayer if Damian's lurking close by, but he doesn't give a fuck. Of all the things he's decided he can live with, live through, he's not sure this is one of them.
Leaving the trees at last, Jason hits the ground on legs almost too tired to hold him, but he stays upright, a croaked sound all that escapes him but for his labored breaths.
But now he's found him, Bruce's back to him in the jungle as he gathers wood for purposes Jason's wired too tight to understand. In all the hours he's spent searching, Jason hasn't figured out a damn thing to say, crawling out of his skin ever since he left Cass's side, the depth of it, the weight of it too much to untangle and put into anything like words.
He could die here. In the shape he's in, Jason doesn't have a prayer if Damian's lurking close by, but he doesn't give a fuck. Of all the things he's decided he can live with, live through, he's not sure this is one of them.
Leaving the trees at last, Jason hits the ground on legs almost too tired to hold him, but he stays upright, a croaked sound all that escapes him but for his labored breaths.
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"I think all of us have issues we need to work past and that we are fighting every day. But that the only way to work past them is to agree to some level of change. Whether or not he deserved to die, I don't think killing him would have helped any one of us in the long run."
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As he turns his head, it occurs to him that this is the first time since he arrived in the clearing that he's looked Bruce in the eye. "That's not madness, Bruce, that's the math."
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I turn, staring into the distance.
"I wouldn't be capable of saving anyone."
We've had this talk before, but it doesn't make my conclusion any less true. There might be people capable of making calculated strikes and keeping their mental distance. I've never been great at it.
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Scrubbing the tears from his face, Jason finds himself steadier. "We're just crazy people in costumes. We always were."
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It's clearly not, however.
"Why have all of the efforts of the police been in vain? Why, in spite of the potential we have to bolster the nation's economy, does the government turn on us and leave us to fade away? Not all problems can be solved by the soldiers, Jason. That's the point. I'm not a hero, no. But there's still a job that I need to do."
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His fingers trace a different scar now. "Do you love me anyway?"
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My frown deepens.
"Came back for her?"
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He nods in answer. He'd meant the city, not Talia, and oddly, now that he has the opportunity, Jason doesn't want to twist the knife.
"Gotham. I belong to her. She could be so much better."
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Or with the wrong people trying to support her.
"Someday, Gotham will be peaceful, and as free of crime as any city of its size. Today's not that day."
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"I should go home."
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Exhaling through my teeth, I glance up and in the direction of Jason's hut.
"I'll walk you back."