prodigaljaybird | (no subject)

He hasn't come here since the snow melted.

Hasn't come here, in fact, since those fractured days following Bruce's arrival, feet bringing him here like they could step from sand and into memory, back to a time when Tim was here to tell him what to do.

Staring at the aging wooden structures of the outdoor gym now, Jason finds their delipidation sad. Stupid, for it's not his Tim that built it, but it feels like a legacy all the same. He should do something. Tear something of Tim's down again, but this time, with a mind to rebuild it. He doesn't have the tools, but -

"Hell, now's as good a time as any," Jason murmurs, crossing from the parallel bars and into the closest copse of trees. He lets a batarang fly before him, sharp edges catching the center of a trunk, and Jason arrives in front of it with his leg already outstretched. He feet catches the trunk just right, and with one short, sharp crack, the tree splits down the middle.

Felling trees for lumber might be easier with a saw, but it's not nearly as much fun.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"To be known at all." Loved at all. "All of you, and for real. There was nobody for so long." Looking back, Jason wears the wet gleam in his eyes with defiance.

"Did you have someone? Back in Panem?"

Given the topic, he should be expecting it, but the question still surprises him, catching like a punch. But he falters for only a second before quickly recovering to paste on the slow, coy smile he's used countless times in the Capitol when asked variations of that very same question.

"I have many," he says. "Did Katniss not tell you? I have admirers far and wide back in Panem."

And he knows, even as the words leave his mouth, that he's trying too hard.

Jason's eyes narrow, for smile the and for the words that follow it, and he shakes his head. "None that you wanted." To be celebrated for murdering other children, it's something to be endured, not asked for, and he can't bring himself to believe that Finnick would enjoy that. As for the others, these admirers that taught him to smile like that, flirt like that...Jason can't believe Finnick desired them, either.

"Someone that knew you."

Finnick's smile falters, Jason's words and the all-too-knowing look in his eye seeing too much.

"No," he lies, the answer immediate. He's spent years now protecting Annie with his lies and, though she may not be here, and though he may never see her again, it feels like it's the only thing he can do to keep her safe. If he doesn't speak her name, she exists only to him; no one can hurt her.

"Not even my mother and father. Not anymore."

"Me either," says Jason. He'd count Talia, but he's not sure what she is to him - mother, lover, savior, friend - so many things that he could never choose just one. "Not until here."

Despite his words, he watches the pulse jump in Finnick's throat, unnoticeable but for Jason's years of training, and wonders if this is another lie. "You should get one."

Finnick arches an eyebrow and his lips twitch slightly, pulling into a grin to hide the immediate impulse to deny needing anyone. Anyone but Annie. "Are you volunteering?"

"Yeah?" Jason replies, grinning suddenly, his eyelashes fluttering in a fair, if exaggerated impression of Finnick's only moments before. "You want me to know you?"

He can't help his laugh then, bright and surprised. Jason is certainly a mystery, but Finnick can't deny he enjoys the man's company. "Who said anything about wanting? I just prefer to be aware of my options."

Jason laughs, rocking back on his heels. "My girlfriend punches people. People on crutches, I'd be careful. But you never know what will happen here," he adds, sobering.

"If there is someone from home, they could come here, too. I thought I'd be the only one here from mine for a long time, and then they all came at once."

It isn't the first time Finnick has heard such things, and Finnick thinks back to Effie in particular, how she told him her brother was already here when she arrived. And that he'd been here for months when, back home, he'd never been gone at all.

Finnick wants to believe that means Annie could arrive at any moment. Or maybe his parents or his brother or Mags. Any of them whole and safe. But he can't help thinking that believing that or even wanting it is only setting himself up for disappointment.

"Katniss and Peeta are both here," he says with a mild shrug. "I guess they're close enough to knowing me as anyone else." It isn't true, of course. Despite what they've gone through together, neither of them really know him. They're not intended to.

Jason smiles - however easy he finds it to be around Katniss, objectively he knows she's not the warmest friend, at least not outright.

"Maybe it will be me, then. Guess we'll see."