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Jan. 20th, 2012 06:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
He hasn't come here since the snow melted.
Hasn't come here, in fact, since those fractured days following Bruce's arrival, feet bringing him here like they could step from sand and into memory, back to a time when Tim was here to tell him what to do.
Staring at the aging wooden structures of the outdoor gym now, Jason finds their delipidation sad. Stupid, for it's not his Tim that built it, but it feels like a legacy all the same. He should do something. Tear something of Tim's down again, but this time, with a mind to rebuild it. He doesn't have the tools, but -
"Hell, now's as good a time as any," Jason murmurs, crossing from the parallel bars and into the closest copse of trees. He lets a batarang fly before him, sharp edges catching the center of a trunk, and Jason arrives in front of it with his leg already outstretched. He feet catches the trunk just right, and with one short, sharp crack, the tree splits down the middle.
Felling trees for lumber might be easier with a saw, but it's not nearly as much fun.
Hasn't come here, in fact, since those fractured days following Bruce's arrival, feet bringing him here like they could step from sand and into memory, back to a time when Tim was here to tell him what to do.
Staring at the aging wooden structures of the outdoor gym now, Jason finds their delipidation sad. Stupid, for it's not his Tim that built it, but it feels like a legacy all the same. He should do something. Tear something of Tim's down again, but this time, with a mind to rebuild it. He doesn't have the tools, but -
"Hell, now's as good a time as any," Jason murmurs, crossing from the parallel bars and into the closest copse of trees. He lets a batarang fly before him, sharp edges catching the center of a trunk, and Jason arrives in front of it with his leg already outstretched. He feet catches the trunk just right, and with one short, sharp crack, the tree splits down the middle.
Felling trees for lumber might be easier with a saw, but it's not nearly as much fun.
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Date: 2012-01-21 05:07 am (UTC)It's not the most ambitious of endeavors considering the area is far from uninhabited, but it's something to do, a break from staring out across the ocean and wondering what's on the other side. And it's an easy way of getting a better feel for the place. A better way to slowly grow accustomed to the idea that maybe this is real after all, that's really happening.
A movement in the trees to his right catches his attention and he abandons the river to skulk through the undergrowth until he comes to a small clearing littered with what appears to be shoddy wooden gym equipment.
"Interesting," he says to himself as he approaches a rotting balance beam before a loud crack from several yards away has him whirling around just in time to see a tree splitting straight down the middle. And a now familiar figure standing before it.
He blinks, stunned.
Says, "Please tell me you didn't just accomplish that with the power of your mind."
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Date: 2012-01-21 07:17 am (UTC)Turning fully, he surveys Finnick, makes a show of assessing his strength, though in truth, Jason is cataloging so much more. "You into woodwork?"
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Date: 2012-01-21 03:35 pm (UTC)But if the way Jason's looking at him is anything to go by, that isn't what he means at all. Grinning, Finnick stands up a little straighter, shoulders back and head up, well used to having every inch of his body analyzed for various reasons.
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Date: 2012-01-21 07:41 pm (UTC)He nods at the clearing. "I'm gonna fix this place up. You want to help? It gets boring here fast."
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Date: 2012-01-21 08:06 pm (UTC)"Alright," he says, decision made, lips curling into an easy smile. "But only if you teach me that tree-breaking trick."
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Date: 2012-01-21 10:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-21 11:31 pm (UTC)He has much less experience with firearms and, though he's not going to admit to it, his simple hand-to-hand isn't the best. "Why? You looking for tips?"
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Date: 2012-01-22 03:04 am (UTC)"Sure," he says, moving back into the clearing. He should feel bad, maybe, for pushing, seeking out the edges of Finnick's sanity by throwing him back into the violence he's left behind, but he tells himself it's for Katniss. If Finnick's unstable, Jason wants to know.
"Show me."
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Date: 2012-01-22 03:36 am (UTC)Of course, he doesn't really have much either. Just a trident that he'd left back at the hut, not imagining he'd need it. There are plenty of vines though and he nods toward the trees as he adds, "I could show you a few useful knots. How's that?"
The whole conversation suddenly reminds him of practicing with Katniss, showing her knot after knot in exchange for archery lessons. The difference here is his future and the entire future of the country doesn't rest in Jason's hands. Hell, Finnick barely even knows him.
There's a part of himself that can't help being instantly suspicious. He keeps that hidden.
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Date: 2012-01-24 04:24 am (UTC)"You're older than them," he says, waiting. "You must have fought years before Katniss and Peeta went in."
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Date: 2012-01-24 07:15 pm (UTC)"You could say that," Finnick remarks, grabbing the rock in one hand and reaching for one of the thicker vines with another, pulling it down closer. "I was fourteen my first time in the arena. There wasn't supposed to be a second time, but--" He stops for a moment, glancing up at Jason to flash a small, strained smile, "Well. As I'm sure Katniss has told you, things don't always work like they say they will in the Capitol."
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Date: 2012-01-24 08:02 pm (UTC)Jason looks back, his expression blank but for the fire in his eyes. "I wish I could go there," he says, adding, quiet and perfectly even, "I'd kill every one of them."
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Date: 2012-01-24 08:29 pm (UTC)With another quick tug, the jagged rock in his hand slices through the vine. He hands the limp rope of green to Jason, eying him carefully.
"They're not all bad," he says, turning his attention on another hanging vine. "Some just don't know any better."
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Date: 2012-01-24 10:51 pm (UTC)"People learn fast with the right motivation."
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Date: 2012-01-25 01:57 am (UTC)He blinks.
"You really need to show me how to use that thing."
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Date: 2012-01-25 05:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-25 04:14 pm (UTC)His smile wavers a little as he focuses on the movement of his fingers and not the memories that suddenly want to clamor to the front of his mind. "I threw what I had," he says, pulling the loose end of the vine through his hand and dropping the looped end to the ground. It's a simple noose, meant to ensnare any wayward foot. "This won't hold much," he says, nodding at the vine. "Good at catching game, though."
'And the smaller kids,' he doesn't say, pushing the vile thought into the back of his mind.
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Date: 2012-01-26 05:49 am (UTC)He's breathing hard, the scar that runs almost the length of his scalp throbbing in nauseating little pulses, and try as he might, quick as he flew there, Jason can't seem to come back down. "Aren't you angry?" he says, breathless. "All the things that happened to me, I'm so angry, I - " Jason swallows. "Aren't you angry?"
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Date: 2012-01-26 07:35 pm (UTC)"What happened to you?" he asks, brow furrowed as he swings the vine back into his hands and unlooping the noose.
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Date: 2012-01-26 10:22 pm (UTC)"A man took me in from the streets when I was eleven. He was a hero, he taught me to fight, how to help people, he thinks he ruined me, taught me violence, but he saved me. But I died, I - his greatest enemy, he killed me, but I came back. Katniss called me a mutt, but I'm not, I'm still me, I - "
Jason lets his hands fall. He could kill Finnick in twelve different ways without telegraphing a thing, and still he feels vulnerable. Cracked open and bleeding out, all these little pieces that won't go back together, why must it always be like this? "I don't know why I came back, but I'm stronger. I know more. I won't - I won't let bad people live to hurt others."
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Date: 2012-01-27 02:18 am (UTC)It feels alarmingly obvious now.
He wraps the vine around one finger and tugs tight, focusing on the way it cuts into his skin.
"If you died, how did you..." he asks, his voice quieter. "How is that possible?"
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Date: 2012-01-27 07:45 pm (UTC)Jason waves a hand like he could pull the memories back together, but of course he can't. "Muddled. I don't remember the first year back." Little things, just impressions. Cold ground and harder fists, then sudden warmth, bodies pressing in on him and forcing him to fight, smooth hands pulling him away again. Dipping him in water that burned and brought everything rushing back. Talia.
"But someone helped me."
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Date: 2012-01-27 09:56 pm (UTC)He's starting to agree with Katniss's assessment - Jason's a mutt. There's no other explanation.
Discomfort coils tight in his belly and his muscles tighten, but he stays as he is. Not for the first time, he regrets leaving his trident in his beach hut.
"A doctor?" Finnick says, trying to find some other reasoning. One that makes more sense, one that means Jason isn't a monster. "Or maybe... maybe you weren't actually dead."
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Date: 2012-01-27 10:12 pm (UTC)He steps back, away from Finnick whose eyes are full of dread, real or imagined, Jason can't tell, but it doesn't matter. He's so used to seeing it it might as well be there.
"My grave is here. I woke up in it. Again. You'll get something awful, too, we all do. Reminders of home."
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Date: 2012-01-28 01:10 am (UTC)But for the first time, he does just that. There a million horrifying things this place could bring from home. Mutts and trackerjackers. President Snow himself. Nearly every rich patron he serviced back in the Capitol, the ones who wanted to break him as much as fuck him, and every kid he killed in the arena. Annie with her mind shattered, victorious and alive but torn to pieces inside and out.
"Is it still here?" he asks. "Your grave." He isn't sure why he wants to know or why it even matters, but it seems important somehow.
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Date: 2012-01-28 03:09 am (UTC)"Katniss got a giant golden Cornucopia." He looks up, blue eyes catching the light like sparks. "It's gone now."
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Date: 2012-01-28 03:42 am (UTC)To Finnick and every other participant of the games, it's nothing less than a symbol of death.
Swallowing tightly, Finnick finally manages a quick, clear nod. "Good," he says, having to work a little to keep his voice even. "It doesn't belong here."
Or anywhere else as far as he's concerned. But that goes without saying.
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Date: 2012-02-06 10:08 pm (UTC)"If you get something," he says, "we'll destroy it, too. All of it, until it stops coming."
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Date: 2012-02-06 11:57 pm (UTC)He can't help but wonder when that alliance will end.
"You care for her a great deal," Finnick says then, still watching Jason carefully. "Katniss, I mean," he adds, just in case.
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Date: 2012-02-07 12:05 am (UTC)She knows me and she likes me anyway. "Do you know how rare that is?"
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Date: 2012-02-07 12:26 am (UTC)Jason seems so young right now, so much less sure of himself than when Finnick had first met him. Of course, Finnick had been displaced and disoriented at that time, but it still strikes him as odd right now. Jason is a mystery, a potentially very dangerous mystery.
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Date: 2012-02-07 12:39 am (UTC)"Did you have someone? Back in Panem?"
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Date: 2012-02-07 01:01 am (UTC)"I have many," he says. "Did Katniss not tell you? I have admirers far and wide back in Panem."
And he knows, even as the words leave his mouth, that he's trying too hard.
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Date: 2012-02-07 07:27 pm (UTC)"Someone that knew you."
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Date: 2012-02-07 09:17 pm (UTC)"No," he lies, the answer immediate. He's spent years now protecting Annie with his lies and, though she may not be here, and though he may never see her again, it feels like it's the only thing he can do to keep her safe. If he doesn't speak her name, she exists only to him; no one can hurt her.
"Not even my mother and father. Not anymore."
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Date: 2012-02-08 07:52 pm (UTC)Despite his words, he watches the pulse jump in Finnick's throat, unnoticeable but for Jason's years of training, and wonders if this is another lie. "You should get one."
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Date: 2012-02-08 08:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-08 09:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-08 09:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-09 04:16 am (UTC)"If there is someone from home, they could come here, too. I thought I'd be the only one here from mine for a long time, and then they all came at once."
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Date: 2012-02-09 04:15 pm (UTC)Finnick wants to believe that means Annie could arrive at any moment. Or maybe his parents or his brother or Mags. Any of them whole and safe. But he can't help thinking that believing that or even wanting it is only setting himself up for disappointment.
"Katniss and Peeta are both here," he says with a mild shrug. "I guess they're close enough to knowing me as anyone else." It isn't true, of course. Despite what they've gone through together, neither of them really know him. They're not intended to.
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Date: 2012-02-10 12:23 am (UTC)"Maybe it will be me, then. Guess we'll see."